writings
Life | Nature | Philosophy as my muse, I ponder and reflect, and words come out.
Sugar in the Roots
She who is incapable of
Compassionately leaving you
In order to selfishly keep your sugar well dry,
She who keeps your rooted in toxic swamp
Is your affirmation what she thinks of you
Worth measured by what you could do for her
But never mind what she giveth you
For that is not her concern or job
Apathetic that she is
She’s incapable of compassion for you
Nor could you possibly hope to
Extend self-compassion to yourself
That tool called compassion
Becomes a one-way street
Anything that is one-directional
Doesn’t return to bring you
Back to life in the Spring
Rejuvenated
And alive
She who helps you
Return your sugar from the leaves
Into the roots through the trunks
By helping you shed the vampires
Bring nourishment to your weary
Soul
With the living soil
In a teamwork between
Soul and soil
Making beautiful synchronized symphony
When spring comes
Your aliveness is
Renewed
New life is breathed into your branches
Where tender beautiful leaves grow
More beautiful and resilient
Than ever before
Such is real love
That only the emotionally
Psychologically
And mentally
Mature
Naturally
Can bring each other alive
Throughout all four seasons
Perhaps this is why school starts in September
Where sugar returning to the roots
For nourishment
Under the white blanket of cold
The seemingly dead landscape
Sets the stage for the year
Choose carefully
Who
And how
Your cherished
Characters
Values
And virtues
Are being used
This is the time of the year
To set the stage
To make the change
How will you choose
Now that you’ve been
Given yet another chance
Of another
Autumn
Discomfort of Aloneness
Social media has, instead of bringing people together, brought us the following:
It has made us into keyboard Warriors with a cause and in the process of that, our social and debate skills, if there were any to begin with regarding the matter. That devolution of social and debate skills have now spilled out of cyberspace into in-person interactions in real life.
We are wired to look for purpose. It seems as if social media has become a chief source and resource of a sense of purpose. However, to effect real change, it has to come from the individual rather than riding under the umbrella or mob groupthink, enacted in real life with congruence amongst thoughts, emotions, attitudes, and behaviours, but only in alliance with actual, impartial, solid facts and irrefutable evidence, not assumptions backed by cherry-picked, manipulated, misrepresented, misinterpreted, and manufactured “facts” and “evidence” that fit the dogmatic narrative. Anytime an important decision is to be made, such as doing the right or moral thing, it has to come from our logical, rational brain and reasons, carefully thought-out, not driven and governed by feelings or rationalization, and finally put to the test of actual debates. Emotions and feelings are like signal lights to turn your attention to it. Egos and expectations or how you want the result of the truth-seeking debate to be would be best checked out before entering the debate room.
It has also divided us as well as accentuated our real aloneness and loneliness. The loneliness and discomfort of aloneness or solitude has pushed some into seeking a place of belonging into alliance and conformity. However, there seems to be a confusion between a sense of belonging—being accepted as who you are as an individual—and moulding yourself to fit into a group, even if you may be a square trying to fit into a group of round pegs. This maladaptation of fitting into a group at the expense of forgoing or replacing your individual, personal, sovereign identity with a group identity has a high price tag that extends far beyond the individual and the particular group, but out into the society at large. Authenticity is of paramount importance and that is one of our fundamental personal responsibilities to ourselves and to our communities.
Heart of Gold
Heart of gold doesn’t have that Midas’ touch, not in real life. It is but a tool that can be used and manipulated, gaslit and shamed into a disastrous aftermath under the guise of “good intentions” or “moral goodness”. Like donating to a charity, wouldn’t it be wise to be discerning and do some investigation first that the charity is indeed legit and is not corrupted under a façade of “moral goodness”?
The feel-good feeling of “having done the deed of kindness or compassion” could very well have been just a cowardly act of virtue-signalling, whereas actually having done good via courageous honesty and facing the painful truth requires that one faces the fear and converts it into courage to overcome it.
The latter is the heart of gold, not the former. It is not that easy because it requires having to come face-to-face with the depth of darkness of one’s own abyss, understand, and confront that, before one knows that one has control over that, to not allow that darkness to cross the threshold into the ”good”, for that threshold is extremely thin. In fact, the etymology of the word ”courage” means heart, from French.
Real love stems from courage. Cowardice and conformity is diametrically opposed to courage, love, and compassion. Courage is also the cure for cowardice and conformity, before real love and compassion can be reached.
The reality is, and there is no shortcut for it—it is an individual’s personal work, to examine one’s own life to make it worth living.
I Don’t Want to be a Reminder
I don’t want to be a reminder
Or memory
Of the former glory
Of your lover
To give that memory
Sustenance
And aliveness
Of what is no longer
In real life
I am me
My life that
Made me
Uniquely me
No matter how much
Similarities
That reminds you of your
Former flame
I am me
My life that
Made me
Uniquely me
In all of its
Aliveness
Sustenance
Glory
And of course
Shadows
In real life
Love me
For who I am
Uniquely me
In real life
As I breathe
And live
In this vessel that is me
In this life
I am not your memory
Or your reminder
Of the lost glory
That is your former flame
Love me
For who I am
Uniquely me
In real life
I am me
My life that
Made me
Uniquely me
In real life
A Drop of Tear
Sometimes a drop of tear
Contains much sorrow
Instead of a River
Of tears
Bravery and courage
As sail and oar
Reading the wind
And the waves
With a heavy heart
And burdened mind
Keeping the eye
On the goal
Brushing away tears of
Obstruction
Keeping the little raft
Afloat
Adjusting the sail
To reach the destination
Across what is really
A River of sorrow
Revealed only in
A drop of tear
Photo credit: Delphina Raven, Shediac Bridge, New Brunswick, August 2012
Autonomy vs. Indoctrination
“I think my deepest criticism of the educational system…is that it’s all based upon a distrust of the student. Don't trust him to follow his own leads; guide him; tell him what to do; tell him what he should think; tell him what he should learn. Consequently at the very age when he should be developing adult characteristics of choice and decision making, when he should be trusted on some of those things, trusted to make mistakes and to learn from those mistakes, he is, instead, regimented and shoved into a curriculum, whether it fits him or not.”
~ Carl Rogers
Indoctrinating a child with religion or ideology and call it teaching is not educating or facilitating. It is brainwashing.
Telling someone what and how to think, feel, choose, act, decide is to take away autonomy to grow into a human being. Obedience is not a character to strive for. It robs the person of personal power to understand how to use that power—when it is used for good and when it can destroy. When that is not understood, the obedient and conforming individual won’t learn what it means to be responsible for oneself or for others, but only know to scapegoat or be scapegoated.
Be intimate with your shadows, understand that the veil that separate the “good” and “evil” is very thin indeed, when anchored by a strong and deep knowing of your “Self” that has been within your control, it will allow you to have self-control and self-regulation to have no need or desire to power over and control others and to not allow yourself be powered over via manipulation by others. This agency of an empowered Self becomes an empathetic force in a humane humanity. Those who desire to wield power and control over others, telling and programming them on what and how to think, feel, act, decide, and choose, have an inverse relationship to the degree of self-control and personal power. (Definition of “personal power” here is borrowed from Phil Nuernberger, PhD: it means having power over yourself, not over others.)
My Name Is…
Listen to my song, my rhythm
Understand me
Instead of writing over me
With your superiority-led script
And your funny ideas and ethics-less experiments
Of “what could possibly go wrong”
To subvert and control me
Making me into what you want me to be
Use fear all your want
It won’t work on me
For I am Mother Nature
I only respond to forces and stresses
Imposed upon me
I am indifferent
I offer you
A song
To guide you
To grow you
To connect you
With everything that is on
Planet Earth
Try with all your might
To overwrite my script
Your narcissistic superiority
Will draw you
An army of narcissists
To do your bid
I am not your conquest
I am not for you to exploit and control
I am the hand that feeds
And nourishes you
Destroy me if you wish
But you will not have me again
For I am too complex
Too intricate
Yet also so simple
If you would only listen
Listen, Listen
To my song
Simply listen
And listen closely
Your inner song is the same
No matter how hard you try
To overwrite that
Because you think I’m not good enough
My name is Mother Nature
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
When someone is brave and trusting you enough to hold up a mirror in front of you
When you refuse to look at it, you're being dishonest with yourself
When you shatter it by shaming that person, something else happens
When you cast aside prejudices and assumptions, and take a look at it, no matter how painful that might be, you gain new perspectives and understanding of you yourself and things/people around you
You enter the lucid space of silence
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
Daily Practice Love and Kindness (with Truth) as the Highest Priority
Always be disciplined in practising Love and Kindness (with Truth) as the highest priority in daily life. Practise it well and it becomes a disciplined practice that won’t betray you, no matter how right and justified you feel or even in actuality, when you are having the biggest struggle in life, or what seems to be the biggest obstacle in life.
Wisdom is when an insight has been experienced and understood with a hefty dose of humility, from different angles and the same ones, repeatedly, after enduring all the pains and regrets, after painfully shedding that mask or ego that shielded you for so long from the inner ugliness from others and yourself. It is not reading someone else’s insights or wisdom, no matter how invaluable and valid. It’s an organic and experiential knowledge that no one can give you. You must walk the path yourself.
Neither one is transferrable or teachable.
We’ve been conditioned through school and society (build on the same hierarchy model smothered in rewards and punishments, points gained and lost, winners and losers) that accomplishments and achievements are destinations and a competition. However, lessons in curriculum and in life, if learnt by experience, then it’s real knowledge; if learnt by memory and scores, then it’s superficial learning. Only the former leads to wisdom, insights, and foresights that are the stepping stones—not necessarily in a vertical hierarchy pyramid steps, but laterally as well, very much like the reruns landscape with hills and valleys above and below sea level—to live life fully and meaningfully for oneself and for others. It doesn’t follow a prescribed timeline like school curriculum. The more competition is ingrained, the shallower the learning; once this mindset is removed and replaced by the mindset of excellence practice based on discipline, then the knowledge is much much deeper and easier to retrieve when life strikes you with a hard and blinding blow.
Hearth is Home with the Heart
If your hearth isn't where your heart is
then no matter how big and glamorous
or simple and minimal
There is no home
where your heart can sing, grow,
be free and speak the truth
But instead becomes a prison
that place you settle in and call it your home
where your songs of love and life
are stifled and saddened
That's no way of living
if you can't feel free
and alive
Listen Deeply, Turn Fear in Prudence
One of the epiphanies when my relationship ended was this. Only by holding myself accountable can I examine my contribution to any outcome. No one is ever free of faults when something falls apart.
The more adversities and disagreements there are in any kind of relationship, the more we latch onto our ego and self-righteousness for outward defence, and the less we are capable of listening, especially this kind of deep listening, hearing behind/beyond the written/verbal message, of the other, as well as of our own. Yes, the message behind our self-righteousness is actually different. When self-righteousness dissolves, self-pity and victimhood mindset give way to compassion for ourselves and others.
Awareness of the underlying dynamics becomes clear, and our inner work deepens, which improves deep listening skills while turning fear into prudence and self-regulation, leading to healthy boundary setting and respect for others and ourselves, and thus relationships with unique people.
Oftentimes it has to do with needs that aren’t being heard, on ALL sides. Self-righteousness often makes us deaf. But not mute, unfortunately, when need be.
Spirit’s Voice
Serenity and quietude
Nourishing our spirits
Silencing the endless mind chatter
Teaching us
To truly listen
Deeply
Smoke-streaked hair
From the campfire
Mountain air
Filling the lungs
Serenity and quietude
Nourishing our spirits
Silencing the endless mind chatter
Teaching us
To truly listen
Deeply
To the spirit’s voice
Within us
And the Earth
Discomfort of Aloneness
Social media has, instead of bringing people together, brought us the following:
It has made us into keyboard Warriors with a cause and in the process of that, our social and debate skills, if there were any to begin with regarding the matter. That devolvement of social and debate skills have now spilled out of cyberspace into in-person interactions in real life.
We are wired to look for purpose. It seems as if social media has become a chief source and resource of a sense of purpose. However, to effect real change, it has to come from the individual rather than riding under the umbrella or mob groupthink, enacted in real life with congruence amongst thoughts, emotions, attitudes, and behaviours, but only in alliance with actual, impartial, solid facts and evidence, not assumptions backed by cherry-picked, manipulated, misrepresented, misinterpreted, and manufactured “facts” and “evidence”. Anytime an important decision is to be made, such as doing the right or moral thing, it has to come from our logical, rational brain and reasons, carefully thought-out, not driven and governed by feelings or rationalization, and finally put to the test of actual debates. Emotions and feelings are like signal lights to turn your attention to it. Egos and expectations or how you want the result of the truth-seeking debate to be would be best checked out before entering the debate room.
It has also divided us as well as accentuated our real aloneness and loneliness. The loneliness and discomfort of aloneness or solitude has pushed some into seeking a place of belonging into alliance and conformity. However, there seems to be a confusion between a sense of belonging—being accepted as who you are as an individual—and moulding yourself to fit into a group, even if you may be a square trying to fit into a group of round pegs. This maladaptation of fitting into a group at the expense of forgoing or replacing your individual, personal, sovereign identity with a group identity has a high price tag that extends far beyond the individual and the particular group, but out into the society at large. Authenticity is of paramount importance and that is one of our fundamental personal responsibilities to ourselves and to our communities.
Real Power
Dig deep
And there you recognize
That fiery strength
Merge it with raw courage
That has always existed
An oft-ignored gift inside yourself
Real power
Comes from
Breaking through barriers
Not asking for handouts
It makes you harder
And yet softer too
Because you understand
What it takes
And how much inspirational power
It has
Adversity won’t stop you
Not when the fight is worth it
And it is imperative
For the whole of all of us
Forward progress
Comes from forward momentum
In spite of life’s
Challenges and adversities
And because of life’s
Intricate beauty
Difficulties are essentially
Growth opportunities
An innate drive
To be an optimal version of who you are
It needs not
More add-ons
But stripping away of
Nonessential baggage
Expectations
Fancy adornments
Dig deep
And there you recognize
That fiery strength
Merge it with raw courage
That has always existed
An oft-ignored gift inside yourself
No need for more
For you have everything you need
Be self-disciplined
Have self-control
Let experiences become foresight
No matter how painful
Become responsible for yourself
Compassion and understanding
Flow through
For all
Impermanence & Interconnectedness
Impermanence captured.
Rhythm of Shadow
As time goes by.
Perspectives of near and far
And everything in between.
Impermanence & Interconnectedness
Impermanence captured
Rhythm of Shadow
As time goes by
Perspectives of near and far
And everything in between
Contrast of lush green
And bone dry ground
Some rock surfaces are
Etched
And some are
Smoothened
Over time
All
Integrated
All Interconnected
Poem written on Dec 1, 2017
Dare to be vulnerable
Stand alone if you must
Even if no one wants to hear
What you have to say that is important
Because it’s beyond their scope of perspective
Even if—no, especially if—
They want to hush you up
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Or if you don’t speak their cult language and align with their cultish mind
Anyone who’s been (or knows someone who’s been)
In an abusive relationship
Or with a narcissist
Knows when one is being manipulated and controlled, converted or gaslit
With bullshit.
Dare to be vulnerable.
Mediocrity at the Expense of Excellence
When mediocrity is not only encouraged and marketed, but excellence is punished—not only discouraged—it’s a sure way for humanity to descend into chaos.
When there’s no check-and-balance in place, say in the example of pursuit of excellence, for honesty and fairness, it can led into greed and cheating as a way of winning a competition. Likewise the pursuit of “who’s got it worse” victimhood mindset has to have check-and-balances so one doesn’t descend into feeling self-righteous and justification to condemn others for pursuing excellence in an honest and fair manner.
“I know nothing about surpassing others. I only know how to outdo myself.” ~ Bushido
Water Cooler for Dogs
Snow, snow—white and pristine
Everywhere
Yellow snow too
All over certain spots
Except this one
The Water Cooler for Dogs
Where yellow snow is absent
Only white, clean, pristine snow.
Shackles of Lies
Liberated from
The shackles of lies
That were woven for you
Before you even had a chance
To weave your own
It takes that special
One
To recognize and see
The primal being that you are
You couldn’t hold back
Your constraints
Shaped by shackles of
Lies
Like a house of sand
As soon as the door opens
The primal maiden with her
Primal breath
Blows away all the sand of
Lies
Reveals a person
Free from the shackles of lies
Of who he was made to believe
He is, but is not
Until he’s freed
By the breath of Life
Vicious Cycles
Rush infants, babies, and toddlers
To reach, Not master on their own accord
Milestones and independence
By projecting our deficits and unrealized dreams
Our images of who we wished we were
By overcompensating
How we were not raised
Override their innate
Instincts and intuitions
Rather than
Connecting and understanding them
As they already are
Take away opportunities
To master sound judgments and critical thinking
To build freethinking individuals
Who are resilient and authentic
Against tyranny
Take away opportunities
To cultivate real connected compassion
Healthy competitions
That elevate each other’s excellence,
Innate self-confidence and self-reliance
Instead of superiority and domination
And manufactured self-esteem
Rob them of
Intrinsic motivations and internal rewards
With authoritarian external rewards and punishments
Condition them
While elevate authoritarians’
Status and esteem
When they become adults
We infantilise them
And they grow to expect
To be infantilised
No resilience
No critical thinking
No stoicism
No freethinkers
No consequential thinking
No adherence to indisputable facts and evidence
Avoid sound debates
Favour rationalization over rationality
No morality or ethics
Be Warriors in the Garden
To stand up
Effectively and tactfully against
Oppression
Tyranny
Victimhood mindset
Superiority
Control
Power
Trauma
Instead…
Oppression to oppress oppression
Tyranny to tyrannize tyranny
Pathological compassion to victimize
Superiority to dominate superiority
Control others to replace self-control
Power over others in place of personal power
Incite trauma to further traumatize
Repetitive and cyclical
Will we ever learn from history
The long human history
And personal short history
Do you dare
To drum up courage and prepare for pain
To heed to indisputable facts and evidence
To humbleness
Of our real world, in reality, and
Build a network of antifragile, indefatigable humanity
To change this tide?